


Welcome To Victuuri!

by Fallen_angel_of_time23



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Cheese, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Cute, Dates, Don't Judge Me, Fluffy, M/M, Nightvale, POV Victor Nikiforov, Science, Secret Police, Sweaters, idk - it is just cute stuff okay, minor mutual pining, my rommie made me do this, posting this at 1am, procrastinating on homework, shennanigans, sun stuff, victor as cecil, victor is as extra as cecil, yurri as carlos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 10:03:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallen_angel_of_time23/pseuds/Fallen_angel_of_time23
Summary: Victuuri - Nightvale AU OneshotVictor is Cecil, Yuuri is Carlos, and the sun is going to explode. Have fun!(This was orginally a commissioned one shot - but if given enough feedback, I am willing to turn it into a series.)





	Welcome To Victuuri!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All_the_fandom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_the_fandom/gifts).



* * *

“I creep higher. You float lower. The neighbor screams, Welcome to Nightvale.” Victor spun in his studio chair, pressing the switch to change from the microphone to music. As the theme music played for his broadcasting channel, Victor flipped through his notes, sipping his Ghost Ghoul coffee. 

“The sun has reversed today. It is now drawing in light, as I speak. Researchers have told me we can expect the world to go dark by tonight.” He glanced at his coffee. “Arby’s is now selling coffee for the Halloween season. You can order a Ghost Ghoul Graveyard, made from human souls, harvested under a new moon, or perhaps a Pumpkin Blood Latte, whose ingredients include the tears of children, goats blood, and artificial pumpkin flavoring - sounds festive! The coffee will be offered until the beginning of Halloween, last year. 

“ The mysterious red bucket, next to the bus stop, is still brightly dim. I have been told to remind you - do not walk past the bucket. Always run backwards, when passing the mysterious red bucket. If you forget to run diagonally, you must sacrifice a Bailey to the mysterious red bucket.  Do not sacrifice a Jordan. If you sacrifice a Jordan with horns, you may be killed by an Aloe Vera dream in your sleep. 

“Always remember to eat your pens, listeners. Chew your pens. Nibble your pens. Bite all along your pens. The ink in your pens will affect your life expectancy. I have not been told how it will affect you, but I can assure you that it will.” Victor paused for a moment, as he received a message from Management.

“It appears, listeners, that cheese has been found growing on your windows. On all the windows. Even the radio station’s windows. I can see it now. It is slowly blocking out the bright dimness from the mysterious red bucket. Do not be alarmed, listeners. The cheese on the windows will soon be followed by rice in your pipelines and soup in your fireplace. It is advised to not eat the cheese on your windows unless you are petting kittens while planning a war in overalls. The rice and fire soup are reasonably safe. Every 5th person will die from anaphylactic shock. Everyone else will be safe.”

“We still do not know the origin of the cheese. Nor do we know why it occasionally pulses and shrieks at random intervals. We are collaborating with science experts to find an answer to this. We should be getting an answer at some point today since we have a new scientist in town. The new scientist is a Japanese scientist from Detroit, Mitch-e-gan. I do not know his name yet. But he has curly, beautiful, black hair that is the perfect length. He passed by me this morning. He did not look at me. But as he passed I smelled him. Listeners, he smells like silver moonlight kissing japanese cherry blossoms at noon, in the heat of summer in the middle of winter. I managed to bottle some of his scent, and have been occasionally smelling it while talking to you. I am hoping to turn it into a candle so everything where I live smells like him. It will almost be like he lives with me if it works!” Victor paused for a moment, imagining this possible future. The scent bottle hovering between his nose and the microphone as his eyes stayed closed for a few additional moments.

“I must return to the topic of the cute scientist later as it is now time for a word from our sponsors. Enjoy.” Victor switched on the advertising, stood up, stretched, and the headed for the bathroom, remembering to grab a few treats. Makkachin was waiting for him, as always, floating four feet above the floor. Victor handed over the treats before quickly using the bathroom and returning to the studio. Victor returned just in time to catch the ending of the sponsorship.

“-- the stars are made of paper, the world is a universal lie, you are no more than a figment of your own creation, an apocalyptic creation by the future for the past. Matter will burn dark, explode invisibly, and consume nothing. You will not be affected, but the world as you know it will end. What if life tasted as good as Diet Coke? You’d be living a lie. Grab your can today.” Victor ended the commercial, returning to being live on air.

“Welcome back listeners. I have good news! The cute scientist I mentioned earlier has agreed to be here for an interview. You all know - that one scientist with the perfect hair, and the scent that smells like home on fire in the middle of a downpour, while an edible love song plays in the background. I now know his name. It is a wonderful name. It is the best name. His name, listeners, is Yuuri. Now please listen to what he has to say. No really, listen to his voice, it sounds like angels singing.”

“Thank you, Victor - He said my name! Did you hear him, listeners? He said my name! - for allowing me this opportunity to address the town about science. And for all of the…. Compliments. I wanted to talk about the scientific changes with the sun. According to my scientific calculations, the sun is collapsing in on itself, and will explode by midnight, destroying Earth. There is a way to scientifically stave off this process-”

“Thank you Yuuri for your wonderful insight on the sun. I could listen to you talk all day! But what about the cheese? Do you have an update on that? Is it edible? Are we allowed to eat it? Can we eat it together? I would love it if we could eat the cheese together - like a cheese date! Cheese and a cute scientist named Yuuri - today is going great!”

“Victor, we need to be focusing on the science of sun right now. It the world ends tonight, no scientific facts about the cheese will be relevant!”

“So… no cheese date then…?” 

“That’s- Later, okay? We can do a cheese date if we survive tonight. I mean it is scientifically improbable, but if we do, I can combine a cheese date with taking scientific readings of the cheese… But that’s not important right now! The sun is scientifically collapsing! We need scientists to -”

“So we can! Is that a yes? Are we going on a cheese date? Listeners, I have the best news - Yuuri, the cute scientist that smells really good and has perfect hair, has agreed to go on a cheese date with me. We will be going tomorrow if the sun doesn’t kill us all. But honestly, it’s okay if the sun does kill us, because then I will die with Yuuri!”

“Victor, if we could focus on science, I would like all scientists to meet at my lab in the next half hour, so we can scientifically keep the sun from-”

“I am so sorry Yuuri, but I have just been handed a note from Old Lady Josie - oh! And one from The Secret Police. Old Lady Josie’s note reads: ‘The sun is of no concern of your’s. Stop addressing the sun. Now. Do not mention the sun again. Ever.’ Whelp, looks like that’s it for our interview. Thank you for coming Yuuri. Please, please, stop by whenever you feel like wanting to say hello. You will always be welcome here.” Before Yuuri could respond further, Victor shut off his mic with a wink, slid Yuuri his number, and continued on.

“I almost forgot to read the note from The Secret Police. It reads: ‘You just gave out the wrong number. Do not give out that number. That is not your number. Whoever posses that number will be found and killed. Fix it.’  Oh no! If you will excuse me, listeners, I have to go fine Yuuri again, and fix…. Something. Until I return… now the weather!” Victor quickly switched off his mic, started the weather soundtrack, wrote down his correct number, and dashed out the door to find Yuuri. It wasn’t hard since Yuuri had just left, and hadn’t gone very far. After explaining the mix-up, giving Yuuri the correct number, and receiving a quick kiss on the cheek that left him flustered, he returned. The weather was halfway done.

 

“Spreadin’ on the mustard now, show me how

Spread it on a little of this bologna

Hopin’ that we don’t run out, don’t run out

If we do I’m sure that I’ll miss bologna

 

Never gonna stop, eat it up

Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up

But I’ll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo

M-m-m-my bologna

M-m-m-my bologna

 

(Belch)

 

Goin’ to the market now, market now

I’m the city’s biggest bologna buyer

Walkin’ down the shopping aisles, shopping aisles

Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer

 

Never gonna stop, eat it up

Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up

But I’ll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo

M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, yi, yi, woo

M-m-m-my bologna

M-m-m-my bologna

M-m-m-my bologna

M-m-m-my bologna”

 

“Welcome back, listeners, I hope you enjoyed the weather for today. The most wonderful thing happened while I was gone. Yuuri kissed me on my cheek! He kissed me! I have been kissed, by the cute scientist! Oh tomorrow will be fantastic! 

“Which reminds me - I received a call from Yuuri, listeners, during the weather, and it appears that after extensive research with other scientists, they found out that the sun is not collapsing in on itself. It was in fact, Old Lady Josie stealing the light from the sun to crochet a nice warm sweater for the upcoming colder times with the help of her “Angels”. She is quoted saying: ‘My sweater is done. But I still want a moonlight scarf, and a dewdrop dress.’ I wish her the best of luck in her creations and look forward to seeing the final products. My sweet, sweet, Yuuri, also informed me that the cheese is edible. it has been advised to ignore the shrieks and pulses from the cheese. These cannot be explained and do not affect the taste of the cheese in any way. My cheese date with Yuuri is officially scheduled for tomorrow! I can’t wait to see him again! Oh, isn’t he lovely!? Always so passionate about science. I am so looking forward to tomorrow. 

“Stay tuned for the chiming of dreams. Goodnight, Nightvale. Goodnight.” The theme music began to play again as Victor hummed along. He spun around in his chair, finishing his coffee happily, as he lazily day dreamed about tomorrow and his date with Yuuri. As Victor finished the last of his coffee, the proverb for that day played. “In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. A German Proverb.”

* * *

 

~FIN~


End file.
